(Me)mory : (His)tory by Isabella Frederick

// What does he tell people about me? / I say so much about him / (now anyway, / I've written all this) /
// Does he say I'm a crazy bitch? / who abandoned him twice / over some blown up comments? /
/ A flaky, naïve girl / who won't face what she is? / who'd have been so much happier / - or at least loved
/ - or at least belonged / with him? /
/ His first love / that he got a second chance with / only to discover she was still unattainable? / truly the
one that got away? /
/ His lost forever partner? / a collaborator / who could get close to girls in a way he couldn't as a boy? /
// Who does he say this to? / his new girlfriend / (who he manipulated to date him) / trying to cover his
tracks, or ingratiate himself? /
/ His guy friends / at the pool, in the locker room / while they're half-dressed and my image turns
sexual? /
/ His classmates / in his psychology courses / who start dissecting my childhood trauma and all he
reveals / to diagnose and condemn me? /
/ His notebooks / in which he plans our next meeting? / finally honest with himself / and all he wants /
with me? //
/ What do I become because of him? / A past betrayal. / A laugh. / A case study. / A victim. /
/ If he speaks of me, / it means I affected him in some way. / If he doesn't, / that is almost worse. / I'll
never get to defend myself, either way. //