This is Who I AM
By Isabella Paco

This is Who I Am   

If my feet stumble 

Bruised, cut, and bleeding  

Will I make it to the end? 

 

As the light flickers through the dark forest 

Starved and dirty 

They tell me I have been through enough 

That the fact that I have made it this far  

Is a statement enough 

 

While others tell me it never will be 

Work harder, work smarter, be smarter 

But how much till it is enough? 

 

I have grown up in a burning home 

With the screaming as loud as the bang from the bullet 

With the kids hiding under the bed, in the shadows 

Because the big monsters are in the living room, in the kitchen 

 

I have grown up on throwing knives for words 

Where kids knew only violence in exchange for love 

Didn’t know how to turn a rifle into an instrument 

Given the tool and told to change the world– firing away 

 

I have grown up in a lightless home 

Only flames to keep the halls light 

With the fridge and my stomach empty 

I made the trek, lifting plastic bags in my hands to get to the finish line 

To finish my way home 

 

To make it home to my baby brother, who was too young to know any better 

While being told, I am too young to know any better 

That– when I am older, I will understand 

 

I have been loved so much that it burned me 

And hated so much it bruised and cut 

Lost all my friends, family, and loved ones for not being better for the change 

 

I have been beaten, smelted, burned 

To become a beautiful sword or maybe a pen to write my story 

With the hope that one day, maybe all of this will mean something 

 

When I find the light at the end of the forest,  

will it only be a brief moment,  

Or will it be the rest of my life? 

 

Will I be able to handle the bright sun in my eyes, even if I only know scalding flames? 

Or will I continue to hide in the dark even if I am still scared of it? 

 

I am scared of the answer, but I am not afraid of it 

Tussled, scratched, blood seeping out of my molars 

I have been through worse for me to back down now 

My story will always be never-ending.