A FAREWELL TO THE FORMLESS CAPTOR by Thi Nguyen

 

To you,

​

The seemingly constant presence in my life.
The first thing you do in the morning
Is hold me down in bed.
I feel your arms weighing me down,
Restraining me until I lose my fight.
You whisper my insecurities in my ears,
I feel the words creeping its way
To my vulnerable brain,
Burdening and drowning my mind.

​

The seemingly consistent weight on my soul,
Is you.
Holding my lungs hostage,
Taking my oxygen as your own.

​

You were there in my grief,
And never thought to leave.
Then you stayed,
Holding me stagnant from my growth.

​

I wish to leave all this behind,
For the very last time.
For real this time.
No joke.
I want to let go,
And never touch hands again.
So don’t chase me,
Like a bounty hunter of my mind, body, and soul.
Don’t hold me hostage in my own bed again.

​

I am tired of losing myself,
In your overbearing image,
For I am not even a shadow in your presence.
I want this to be the last time.
The last time you borrow my body,
The last time you took my will to live,
The last time you reduce me to nothing under your shadow.

​

To you,
The everlasting presence in my life.
The one that will not go away.
The thief of my vessel.
Farewell and never again control me.